Asking For Help

It's okay to ask for help.

I don't know why I struggle with it, actually I dont struggle, I refuse it.

I could have a broken foot, carrying armfuls of grocery bags, trying to open a door, while my crutches are falling from my grasp, and still not ask for help.

People see the scene before them, and rush to help. I guarantee 90% of people would (at least the Canadians would).

But what if you're metaphorically doing all that in your head; anxiety, depression, OCD, etc. You're struggling, you need help, but no one can see it until it's too late.

Why don't we ask for help?

For me it's a combination of shame, fear, stubbornness, and failed past results.

I don't know what to say; how do you ask for help?

I worry how people will react, do to bad experiences in the past; and I feel guilty, because I'm taking them away from something they're doing.

I should be able to handle it alone.

When I was a kid, (I have autism which isn't the main point of this article, but relevant to the story) I struggled a lot. The world was a scary place for me, I didn't understand the unwritten social rules, I didn't know why we had to do things a certain way. My executive functioning skills were practically non-existent. But if you asked for help, the kids would laugh at you, make fun of you. The teachers would think you're being silly, you just weren't trying hard enough.

Then the teachers or peers who tell you they'll help you whenever you need it, get fed up and tired with you when you ask them for help.

And the negative reactions when you ask for help, stick with you.

You, yourself start to not realize when you need help. You start to think you can do it all, you can take on the world single-handedly. News flash, you can't. Even batman needs the justice league. But it's not until the world crashes down around you that you realize it, and at that point, it's too late.

For some reason, asking for help is seen as a weakness; admitting you can't do something is poor character.

There was a time I asked for help, my depression and anxiety was taking over, and I needed help. I mentioned I sometimes felt like I'd rather be dead than deal with it anymore (I wasn't suicidal, just tired) next thing I know, I'm shipped off to a psych ward, treated like human garbage. So then when I actually was suicidal, guess who didn't ask for help.

I'm working on it, it's okay to ask for help. It's a slow, painful process; I'm starting to.

I have to learn I can't do it all by myself. I'm not expected to do it all by myself. But it's the anxiety that distorts my thoughts, if I ask for help I must be weak. I don't want to be a burden. Asking for help proves I can't handle things.

And it's hard, I know. But asking for help gives you a lifesaver when it feels like you've been drowning in your sea of thoughts.

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