The Random Ramblings of an Autistic Guy

I'm not sure what this feeling is. It's positive, I think; but it's kind of nerve racking at the same time. “What can we do to help you?” Seven little words. Seven little words, asking me. Not telling me. But I'm actually being treated as an individual, not just a problem. My entire life I was told, “This is what we're doing.” and  “That didn't work so we're doing this now.” I can't recall once, being asked what I thought. Put me in the sensory room because that's what the other Autistic kids like. I had a therapist who was dead set on that meditation was the only solution to anxiety. (And just so happened to sell CDs that I should use) It doesn't work for me. If I have to picture another babbling brooke in my lifetime; I think I may snap. In school they would take me out of class and put me in the resource room. The room where the disruptive and/or special needs kids go when their teachers need a break. So yes school, let's put me ...

What a Panic Attack is like for me as someone on the Autism Spectrum. I want you to imagine the most terrified you've ever felt. Maybe at a haunted house? Seeing a large spider? Losing your cellphone? Whatever it is, remember that feeling, how did you feel? Embrace that feeling; now triple it. I had a Panic Attack last week. I honestly can't remember the last time I had one; I think last year? Of course there was a time I used to have them everyday; I don't like to talk about those times. But I'm better now. It was a high anxiety day; a lot of customers (which means crowds and noise), a busy Holiday, and a lot of things to get accomplished in a short amount of time. I also have anxiety working with a coworker (which I'm working through,slowly). On this day I already had two incidents when my anxiety got too high and I had to get talked down. I'm getting better at realising my limits, and not getting embarrassed for asking for help. (Which leads to an ongoing...

As a kid I would constantly come home with cuts and bruises, I couldn't explain or remember where they came from. Teachers would be suspicious of my “I don't know” answers when asked of injuries. But, I just don't feel pain the same as everyone else. In elementary school, it was a normal basketball practise. Running back and forth from basket to basket. I tripped (we joke it was over the blue line) and faceplated. The coach made me sit out for a few minutes because it was a nasty fall. I continued with practise and then walked home. My ankle hurt, like a minor sprain, and tingled a bit, but nothing major. I took a shower, and then watched TV. A couple hours later I look down and my ankle has blown up. It's 5 times the size. Scared, I call for my Mum. My parents take me to the ER, and xrays reveal a broken ankle. The next year, I get pushed, playing soccer and fall onto my hands. It kind of hurts, so I come off and we ice it. My parents are concerned after the ...

This post is featured on The Mighty: https://themighty.com/2018/04/autism-acceptance-workplace/ 80% of people on the Autism Spectrum are unemployed. For the 20% of those of us who are employed. Only 13.9% work full-time. I am one of those 13.9% How lucky do I consider myself? Extremely. I feel like I rolled a natural 20 in D&D, found twenty dollars on the ground, and found the perfect parking spot, all rolled into one. It wasn't easy to say the least. It was a combination of determination, a bit of luck, and an amazing, supportive workplace. I started my job at the local grocery store as a co-op student through my high school. (A co-op student is someone who works for free for a few hours during the school week. And in exchange you get some school credits). I did a mock interview, which I failed. I mean, really failed. Every question I messed up, I stuttered and stammered; ummed and ahhed. It was an absolute disaster. The first semester, I think the number of words I s...