The Random Ramblings of an Autistic Guy

Having anxiety and autism is a double-sided blade. Everyday, I spend a lot of time and energy trying to act "normal"; trying to remember the proper greetings, eye contact, don't stim, remember that joke you heard on tv, the unwritten social rules that everyone knows except me. It's exhausting, but usually I have a pretty good grip on things, and most people don't know I'm autistic unless I tell them. But then the anxiety comes, and you reach a point where you have to decide whether you spend all your energy acting normal, or from not having an anxiety attack. And slowly, your battery depletes into emergency power from trying to do both. So you use what's left to hold off the anxiety, because for those of you who have never experienced an anxiety attack, I can't even begin to describe the terror. All the symptoms and characteristics of autism I was trying to hide creeps out. I start stimming more, and repeating phrases. I can't hold back talkin

A superhero, literally everyone knows is the Hulk; well I'm here to say that I'm the real life version of him. No I don't turn into a giant green monster, but it sure does feel like it. Everyday, I'm like Bruce Banner, mild-mannered, nerdy, and, I'll say it, pretty darn smart. But then my anxiety takes over and I transform into the Hulk; a completely different person who I can't control. Hulk has his strengths; he's super strong for one. And anxiety is good too, we needed it in caveman times for our fight or flight response. Like anxiety, Hulk often comes out when he's least wanted. A visual example is in Thor: Ragnarok, about 1hr and 14min in. Thor is trying to start a ship, but Hulk comes in and begins wrecking things. Frantic, Thor manages to pull up a video log of Natasha (Black Widow)- who is one of the few people who can calm Hulk and get him to return to Bruce. Hulk sees this video, as does Bruce, and Bruce wants to come back. Hulk begins hi